Blogmas Day Twenty Two – Letter to Yourself About the Year

Hello future Harper,

Despite being great at building yourself up for the letdown you didn’t enter the year with high hopes. Maybe that was a good thing because it wasn’t what you would have ever expected. You met and had a lot of amazing people in your life. Some stuck around and others made an appearance. Everyone left some sort of impact on you though. You have absolutely no idea what you are doing with yourself. I can’t say you’ve changed because for the most part you’ve been the same person for the last ten years but in a way you did. The things you wanted changed. You still run from your feelings. Some part of you has decided that you want to go after the things you want. You have made a lot of mistakes. You messed up something that could have been a good thing. You made it through another year. In a way I guess you could say you grew up a bit.

Harper Payne of 22/12



Blogmas Day Nineteen – Drink, Drank, Drunk.


This is suppose to be about holiday drinks. Heres the thing though. I’m not a big fan of ditry-girl-scout-1
mix drinks. Despite my grandmothers hate for it, I’m all about throwing back shots. She says that it’s not lady like but I’m not someone who can just sit and sip on bourbon. The only mix drink I really like is a dirty / naughty Girl Scout. It’s one of those drinks where you’re like oh this taste like candy then it hits you. Also gives you a great drunk nap. There are a million and one ways to make it. People use Kahlua but I’m not a big fan of it. Note why I do joke I named my dog Lua after Kahlua it’s really after a song. I do mint and chocolate liqueur with Baileys (sometimes vodka). You can do equal parts of each or whatever you are feeling.



Someone I know posted this on facebook. I can’t remedmber who it was. I think this is a pretty good example of what life feels like right now. I could sleep until spring.

Blogmas Day Eighteen – Would You Rather? / Larkin Poe.

Last night I got to see Larkin Poe live. None of my friends wanted to go with me and despite me being twenty three I was still nervous on looking lame by going by myself. My mother was sweet enough to join me. (Also happy birthday Momma Payne). She just got a knee replacement last month so once we were there she decided to tell me that she was just going to sit somewhere. I stood by myself and ended up looking lame anyhow. When I’m alone in crowds I’m not a pushy person. You wanna stand in front of me go for it. So I was in the middle of the crowd. I started talking to the lady next to me who was a complete sweetheart. She got us pretty close to the front. (I was stuck behind this drunk guy who stepped on me multiple times) She was with her friend both around my moms age. I’m super weird and was like hey you look familiar. Turns out that I was in Girl Scouts with her daughter when I was seven. She remembered me so it was less weird. Anyhow. Amazing concert. They are just ridiculously precious. If you have the chance to see them, take it.

  1. Would you rather have to eat a whole turkey in one sitting or never be able to eat turkey again?
    I don’t really like turkey, I always have ham so never be able to eat turkey again.
  2. Would you rather get the best gift you ever received again or get a new gift (but have no idea if it will be good or bad)?
    New gift.
  3. Would you rather relive a past winter holiday again or get to travel to a future winter holiday?
    I don’t think I’ve ever had like a wow amazing winter holiday. I’d travel to the future.
  4. Would you rather spend the holidays with your family or with three celebrities (you can choose the celebrities)?
    1.  John Mayer- Imagine just jamming to holiday songs with him.
    2.  Chrissy Teigen- Amazing food and she’s hilarious.
    3. Some famous architect- The snow forts we would make would be mind-blowing
  5. Would you rather have to cook the big holiday meal every year or have to clean up and do the dishes after the holiday meal every year?
    Cook. I don’t like touching dishes with food on them
  6. Would you rather be a kid or a grandparent during the holidays?
    There use to be this great magical feeling of the holidays when I was little but now that I’m older I get so excited about other peoples gifts so grandparent.
  7. Would you rather give up one family tradition or start a new one?
    New. Our only tradition really is watching family stone and that’s not going anywhere.
  8. Would you rather have the (skill) of (family member) or the (another skill) of (another family member)?
    Grandmas cooking skills
  9. Would you rather get to invent a holiday on whatever day you want or have a holiday fall on your birthday?
    Invent a holiday. I have so many ideas for this.
  10. Would you rather wear a Santa outfit or an elf outfit to work every day for a month?
    We had this elf outfit I thought was the coolest when I was younger so I’d do that again. And I’d be so amused if the shoes had bells.
  11. Would you rather be famous for starring in a cheesy holiday movie or not be famous at all?
    Famous if it was a lifetime movie.
  12. Would you rather work untangling Christmas lights or work as a mall Santa?
    Christmas lights are like a frustrating puzzle but I like them. Santa a kid could kick me or throw up on me. Plus with the lights you get to look at them be pretty. I’m not a nice enough person to think that making kids happy is worth all of that.
  13. Would you rather have your ears turn into elf ears or have a Santa beard forever?
    Elf ears.
  14. Would you rather give up Christmas trees or Christmas cookies?
    Really I’d give up either of them.
  15. Would you rather get one amazing holiday gift or 10 OK holiday gifts?
    I return most of the gifts I get so ten okay ones.
  16. Would you rather be an elf in Santa’s shop or a reindeer on Santa’s sleigh?
    Elf. I want to invent things and put them together.
  17. Would you rather have it be your favorite holiday every day or never have that holiday again?
    I don’t have a favorite holiday.. so.
  18. Would you rather know what all your gifts are or be surprised by all your gifts?
    Surprised. If I knew ahead of time and I didn’t like it I’d have to say it twice.
  19. Would you rather only have dessert on holidays or never have dessert on holidays?
    Never have dessert on holidays.
  20. Would you rather get a paper cut every time you wrap a Hanukkah present or get burned every time you light the menorah?
    Jokes on you cause I don’t do either of those things. Maybe burn though because it would only happen eight times. Paper cuts hurt even after the fact. Like when something gets in the cut and you want to cry.
  21. Would you rather have holiday decorations up all year or never be able to put them up again?
    I leave my Christmas lights up all year. Our decorations aren’t super neat so it would be whatever,
  22. Would you rather volunteer to help a friend wrap presents or shop for presents?
  23. Would you rather get a person who is really hard to shop for during Secret Santa or have no one get your name for Secret Santa?
    Doesn’t it work so everyone gets someone? I don’t know. Shop for someone hard.
  24. Would you rather live in a gingerbread house with your group of friends or never be able to live with any of them?
    Never live with any of them. Gingerbread houses are gross and theres no furniture so it’s not practical.
  25. Would you rather experience a Christmas in 1700 or in 2100?
  26. Would you rather spend Christmas with your group of friends or have them each be replaced by their favorite celebrity?
    Honestly, replaced by their favorite celebrity that would be so much more interesting.
  27. Would you rather only be able to watch your favorite TV show during the holidays or have to watch it every day of the year?
    I don’t like watching things I’ve already seen. So watch during the holidays only. BUT. If I could erase my mind after each time then I’d watch it everyday of the year.
  28. Would you rather star on a popular holiday music single or star in a popular holiday movie?
    Holiday single. If I can be famous because of my terrible voice that would be awesome. I’d just constantly laugh… and maybe cry.
  29. Would you rather vacation somewhere cold or hot during the holidays?
  30. Would you rather get stuck in an airport during Christmas or get lost in a Christmas tree farm?
    Tricky. It depends on the time I’d be stuck at the airport. If it’s 6 AM when they don’t have anything open and the food is sucky then get lost in a Christmas tree farm. If the tree farm is really cold and I’m alone, will I ever be found? then Airport. If everyone in the airport is really cranky then tree farm. If wild animals can come and kill me. Rather be stuck in an airport. UNLESS the animal killing me was a moose cause what a way to go.

Blogmas Day Seventeen – Week in the Life of You

My week hasn’t been exciting. I haven’t posted much. Each day I think about how I was suppose to post something. When it came time to do it I sat there staring at the screen. These are the things that I did when I wasn’t working.

IMG_3473I went and got lunch with my cousin. I always had this idea that everyone would be super close in my family. We would do weekly dinners. We aren’t like that though. I dont leave my house often. We’ve planned on hanging out all summer but never got around to it. She’s a lot like how I was at her age. I lectured her. That was the age that life changed. I want better for her. She can be so much more than I am. I made her clean her room because having a clean room makes it seem like you kind of have your life together. While she did that I held her snake. Clearly it loved me.


Pasta is generally my go to food. When I was younger we would always cook with my grandma. I tried to make the dough twice. I couldn’t get it all to go together so I ended up driving to her house for help. Safe to say that kneading dough is not one of my talents.  Turns out that you can use a food processor. I haven’t made any pastas in years. In the end the dough was thicker than it should have been. Overall tortellini turned out decent. Next time it will be better. (Shaping them is so frustrating)


IMG_3492I mailed out half of my Christmas cards but forgot to put half of them in the box. The mail lady already came so I drove to the post office to drop them off. I stopped at 7-11 on my way home. I bought this to try (I didn’t like it). It was a weird day. I felt off. I sat in the church parking lot. When I’m really lost that’s what I do. I decided to go in because I didn’t remember what the inside looked like. I’m not religious. I was baptized and made first communion. I dont dismiss the fact of god but I dont believe in it either. The world is much bigger than me. Who am I to say what’s out in the unknown. Anyhow, I went in and listened for about forty minutes. I didn’t understand anything.

IMG_3537I went to my dads best friends work. His company runsIMG_3541 some part of some GM thing. I don’t know. I had not been to it yet so we went. The building is beautiful and I got lost multiple times. The view rom the front is the river front. The picture doesn’t do it justice. It was a cloudy day. Always neat to see Canada though. A few months ago I had this thing where I just had to go see the bridge to get into Canada. I dont have an enhanced license so I could cross. I parked somewhere and walked along the water. It was one in the morning. I ended up walking past this building that it’s in. Since it’s GM owned they had the newest cars there. I drive a GMC and I was informed that the chevy version of my car has more space. So I ended up being a little sour about it.



Blogmas Day Fifteen – What’s on My Christmas Tree

We have always had a fake Christmas tree. Each year we would put it up closer and closer to Christmas. Getting out the tree, putting on the lights, figuring out with decorations go where. I end up losing my patients and getting grumpy. Then you have to take it all down. It’s just too much work. The year before last we just kind of said forget it.  So last year I was grocery shopping and saw these little trees. I decided that was going to be our Christmas tree. Here we are a year later. My mom kept it alive and now it’s our tree again.  This year the angles on the top are Tom Selleck and Prefontaine (my choices). I also bought my Christmas cactus and it’s started to bloom a bit!


Blogmas Day Thirteen – What You’re Reading.


51Hu32VykgL._SX322_BO1,204,203,200_I’ve been busy off in my own world lately. Knitting and cleaning. I haven’t started a new book so I’m not reading anything at the moment but last week I finished The Diving Bell and the Butterfly. It’s a solid book. While I was reading this I watched a few episodes of the Netflix show Sick Note. They reference this book and ruin the end. I’m starting Pretty Girls tomorrow.

Blogmas Day Twelve – Holiday Card


These are the two cards that I sent out this year. Now I’m not one for glitter but every year I send out a set of cards that have glitter in them. The first year I sent out cards my friend Pat would how he would find glitter everywhere from it. Because I like to be inconvenient to others I would make sure that he had a glitter card. This year I went and got these cards and he had the nerve to decide that he didn’t want a card this year. He has a new girlfriend and all that so I get it but still. I know these cards aren’t super awesome. I didn’t take my dogs to see Santa this year so I didn’t have that picture to send out.

Enjoy past Payne Family holiday card photos.

  1. 2004 Why we had an elf costume is beyond me. Chances are I begged to be the one to wear it. That was my first dog Lucky. The love of my life. Worlds greatest dog.
  2. Possibly 2005. I knitted that wrist band and I thought I was ridiculously cool wearing it.
  3. 2012. B had long hair and it was gorgeous (it’s hella short now). I would like to note that she is wearing my shirt and boots. I wanted to wear it for the picture but she said the only way she would be in it is if she could wear it.
  4. 2015. Rilo was still a little baby. We went to the pet store to get her picture taken and it turned out to be this whole  photo shoot.
  5. 2016. Rilo and Conroy got to see Santa at the mall.

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Blogmas Day Ten – A Look At My Phone

IMG_3483 IMG_3484 IMG_3485

Phone background: We have so many pictures that are printed because when I was younger disposable cameras were really the only thing. Scanning them individually takes a lifetime. So we took the film strips to the store and they put them on a disc. This film strip was from like 1992. It was kind of screwed up so the pictures ended up meshing together. It’s something from a hot air ballon show. Anyhow I like it. It’s been my background from years.

The rest of my phone is not exciting. The first page is set to the things that I use most. Years ago I tried to make it so that none of the rows would have would have the same color in them but whatever. The second page is just things I randomly use. The third page is just a collection of apps that I hate but can’t delete.

If you want a good laugh heres me when I was a little tot.


Blogmas Day Nine – Holiday Playlist


The Maine is a band that stole my heart right from the beginning. I frequently go back and listen to CSWS and just hearing how much they’ve grown from each album amazes me. It’s not just their music that makes them great. Each time they take a new risk and it always pays off. As a band they’re something else. From their free tour to their 1823 fest. They care about their fans. You can’t watch this video and song and not be amazed.

My best friend in middle school would always randomly sing this. The other day I was driving in my car to work listening to Christmas music and this came on. I cried. It was something that I had completely forgotten. Anyhow I find it hilarious.


Let me break this down for you because it seems like an odd choice and it is. If you can’t agree with me that Taylor Momsen is a total babe and just all around amazing then we can argue about that at another time. Little baby Taylor is precious. Obviously if I have the chance to include her in something I will.

I can’t help but to laugh at the facial expressions in the beginning of the video. The Ramones are always a go to jam. This song is no exception.

This is my holiday Spotify playlist. It’s nothing exciting. I am not much of a Christmas music person. This is such a disappointing post. I’m sorry.

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Blogmas Day Eight – Favorite Christmas Films

I spent about forty five minutes yelling at my navigation system today. The ramp was closed for at least five miles and it kept telling me to turn. Leading me to get stressed and go in multiple circles. I finally got back on my way home I stopped at Guitar Center. I ended up buying myself an acoustic guitar. It’s beautiful. I should practice more. Boy. I suck.



Each year we watch Family Stone. We laugh at Meredith and they tell me how I’m like Amy. No complaints there. Die Hard is just an obvious choice. I’m a fan of McClane and Powells relationship. It’s not your typical Christmas movie but that’s what makes it great.