Change is inevitable. It’s constantly happening yet I can’t seem to get use to it. I have spent a large portion of my life trying to keep things consistent. In the end nothing stays the same. People who once mattered the most to you become nothing more than a memory. In the moment you expect things to last forever. That can be said about any situation though, whether it’s good or bad. All of that shapes us into who we are. Each encounter leaves a lasting impact on us. Sometimes we dont even notice it. Sometimes we realize it too late.
I saw B for a minute yesterday. I forgot she was going to be here. Well she was really only here for less than five minutes. She doesn’t ever come to see me. Homecoming and friends weddings tend to be what brings her back. I was half asleep. She stopped in to say hi. Complained the bathroom was a mess. Asked when I changed my room. Told me she was taking fathers car and would be back Sunday. For that minute it seemed to me that we really got along. Theres been a few moments like that. When we bonded over girlfriends always disliking us. When my mom tells us to stop fighting when we aren’t. I watch my neighbors have such a close relationship with their siblings and I can’t help but to be reminded that we are the opposite. There was a point in college where we seemed like we were starting to get close. That didn’t last. I owe a lot of who I am today to her. I could have turned out a lot worst than what I did. She took the right path in high school. I was afraid of disappointing my parents more than I already was. I won’t ever compare to her. We both have our strength and weaknesses. She will always be the one who be driven and accomplished. I will always be the one who cares about others and can sleep her life away. I’ll see her for a few minutes on Sunday if I am awake or around. Then she’ll go off back to her life and I’ll continue mine until the next time.
My room is a mess. I have been eating ridiculously unhealthy. My nails are breaking. I have terrible posture. Happy March.