I have started about ten post since the new year. Each time I go to write some about memories of 2018 or goals for 2019. Turns out 2018 wasn’t all that significant. I couldn’t come up with a list of things I wanted to accomplish this year whenever I sat down to write it. At the time I didn’t realize how boring it all was. I had plans in the beginning of 2018. None of it played out how I planned though. I spent the year staying around in my house doing nothing. The good news of it all is that it made me realize that I need to be different this year.
I went to therapy for the first time in what seems like forever. Really it’s only been since March. I missed going. My therapist is honestly one of my favorite people. I’ve seen her for over ten years now. I got lucky. She was the first person I ever saw. I get this high after therapy. It’s like everything is released from me, it’s great. I spent most of my time asking questions instead of focusing on myself. I have always had a hard time explaining how I feel or the way I think. It’s good that I’ve seen her so long because if I said the things I do to anyone else they would worry.
They had all these notecards in the waiting room with quotes on them. I like one posted above. Some were foolish. Like how a caterpillar thinks it’s the end but they still go into a cocoon. How could people possibly know what a caterpillar thinks. One time when I had a new doctor they had the picture below in their office. I couldn’t see how it could possibly be an inspiring or meaningful. It seemed rather negative to me. I get it’s suppose to be the state of mind kind of thing. Blah blah blah but still if you’re in charge of deciding what medications will help the chemical imbalance in my brain you should probably have a little more uplifting posters. When I asked her to explain how it’s a positive message she seemed like she was upset with me. Needless to say I never saw her again.